Minding

She doesn't know what to do.

Though, granted, she never does anymore. She feels like her grasp on things is slipping away again... But she's not so sure if she minds like she used to.

But that's another thing she's unsure of.

She's happy she didn't lose him. Losing him would mean losing herself. Though, she wonders, maybe she's supposed to. Maybe she'd be losing a part of her she's supposed to lose. But... She doesn't care, because she can't lose him. It doesn't matter, herself, she thinks. She doesn't matter as long as he and everyone else is happy.

But for that to happen... She has to be happy.

She just doesn't know how to be happy. She's tried so hard and almost made it, but she's slipping again. But she doesn't seem to mind this time.

Maybe that's what she should do different this time. Not mind. But minding is part of her... Something that makes her, her. But it also causes all her problems.

Maybe... Maybe she should let that go so others will be happier. She values others more, anyways. Her happiness... Mirrors those she cares about.

She does care about everyone though...

This could end in tragedy, in confusion, in terror for her. This could be everything she's trying to avoid all over again. This could be the end of her forever.

But... She doesn't seem to mind.